It was supposed to be forever. I agreed to it, in fact. Bedecked in traditional bridal garb and standing in that enormous church, surrounded by 250 of our closest friends & family. (In truth, I could only claim about 15 of that crowd - the remaining 235 asserting some relative status on his side: mother, siblings, aunts, uncles, first cousins, second cousins, cousins removed, children of cousins, spouses of cousins, friends of cousins, hair dressers of cousins, etc. The ushers (more cousins) had to start seating folks on "my" side when the church's listing caused a silver candlestick to roll off the alter.) No denying it, I promised him forever in a house of God, standing before a Monsignor, in front of 250 witnesses. And 14 years later, I broke that promise. (That's 14 years, three children, one dog, 2 bankruptcies, a failed business, 6 moves, countless loads of laundry, and a mound of debt later.) Now, 5 years after that, I'm finally starting to feel a sense of balance. Whether I've achieved it or not is a different story, altogether. But I'm feeling it, so that's got to count for something.
So, why this blog? For as long as I can remember, I've dreamed of being the next Madeline L'Engle, Stephen King, J.K. Rowling. The first truth is I'm not that good. The second truth is that I'm intimidated - by other writers, by the words themselves, by my own critical, harsh judgement. The third truth is that I'm not disciplined enough, at this time of my life, to commit to writing much more than a grocery list. And yet, the pull to the blank page remains, so here I am.
If no one ever reads this, so be it. If someone reads it and gets a chuckle, even better. If I can put a bit of my single motherhood mayhem into a nifty, little blog-container and, by doing so, release some of the daily stress, fantastic. So, read on, McDuff, as my father used to say, and we'll take this journey together. Who knows where it will lead?
